ClusterTech: A Self-rolling Burrito

Operating at the intersection of food, software and data - we’re often asked what “high tech” stuff we’re working on. We read TechCrunch articles about autonomous coolers navigating Redwood City sidewalks at 3MPH only to be kicked over and left stranded. Trucks cooking pizzas in transit while all the toppings are vibrating off onto the floor. Self-driving cars, drones, robots… sometimes it feels like these guys are living in 2050 while we’re stuck here in 2020.

Refusing to be outdone or overlooked, we figured it’s time to step our game up. We sent our tech team on an innovation summit to West Lafayette (the most technically advanced place in the Midwest) in seek of inspiration. It turned out to be a major success and we’re excited to share some of our breakthroughs with you.

Pneumatic Tube Delivery Network

Starting in Denver, we’ll construct a network of pneumatic tubes originating from our kitchen in Five Points into every high rise in our delivery area. We anticipate you’ll be able to receive your order within seconds of it being cooked. We’re still working thru some permitting issues with the city, but we hope to break ground in early spring. Your move robot cooler.

The Self-rolling Burrito

The only thing better than a burrito is a burrito that can roll itself. How many times have you walked up to the counter of your favorite fast casual to see a HUMAN rolling a burrito? These pesky humans can’t even keep the tortilla from splitting open half the time. Our self-rolling tech will save on labor while reducing food waste.

Dish Machine Learning

Dishwashers have not seen much attention from innovation teams over the past 50 years. We believe it’s an area ripe for disruption. Combining our vast amount of dish data with computer vision, our machines will learn ideal loading patterns and water spray angles. Early testing shows an average of 43 seconds saved per load and a 12% lift in productivity.

Dashboard Deep Fryers

Soggy tots are literally the worst. Our core tech solves this problem very well 99% of the time. After all, we we don’t cook the food until the driver is the proper distance away. However, there are circumstances out of our control that compromise tater tot integrity. For example, a train stopping your driver for ten minutes. With in dash fryers we’ll just re-fire your tots after the train passes. We expect these to start rolling out soon, but we’re still prototyping the bicycle version.

YouCook: A Co-eating Space

Basically a restaurant, but where you pay a monthly fee to cook your own food and reserve a chair at a shared table. We’ll also provide a small number of “nap pods” so you can take a post-meal food coma nap. Early termination fees may apply.

If all this was not impressive enough, there were a few more that made the short term backlog:

• Flying Fixies
• The “Technically Possible” Burger
• Artificial Unintelligence

We look forward to delivering you amazing food powered by even better tech in 2020.